Don't Ever Leave them alone!
by Pseudosuicide
Summary: Kakashi's hair on fire? Kiba waxing his legs? Gaara getting a facial? Sasuke wearing a pink bow and pink glitter? What's going on here! [Naruto Humor]


**Don't ever leave them alone!**

Inspired by the insanity of myself and friends and pictures

Thanks to Tas (Achyls) for helping me with this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I also don't own the into up to the point where Akamaru and Kiba come in. That is owned by Tas, or any pictures that this story was inspired slightly by.

Parings: Indicated Sasuke/Sakura, Shikamaru/Ino, Neji/Tenten, and Naruto/Hinata

* * *

It was a normal day. A normal, QUIET day. This made it anything but normal. Where his violent, loud and assertive companion was; he didn't know, and he didn't care to know. At least she was bugging some one else, for once.

He was finally alone, free from the troubles of the every day life. The clouds passing by lazily over head and the sound of birds singing to each other from the tree tops, it was days like this that he lived for.

Unfortunately for Shikamaru, it was days like this that other people found boring, and thus, it was days like these that stupid things happened.

It was just his misfortune that today's stupid thing, was going to include him.

The sound of a dog barking caused Shikamaru to turn around, where he spotted Akamaru running up to him, Kiba not far behind.

"Shikamaru!" Kiba yelled, waving one hand in the air, to get Shikamaru's attention- even though Shikamaru was already looking right at him.

"What do you want?" Shikamaru sighed out, as Kiba stopped beside him, Akamaru wagging his tail from where he sat at Kiba's feet

"ARF!"

"You know how all the girls are gone with Lady Tsunade right?" Kiba stated, and Shikamaru shook his head 'no' "Well, they went with her for a mission; anyway, after long negotiations (Which consisted forcing some people like Sasuke) we decided to have a get together. At your house."

Shikamaru's eye twitched "What?"

"So, we're all going to be there around five o'clock. See you then!" Kiba waved, Akamaru barked, and then both ran off.

Shikamaru stood there, lost for words.

The wind pushes a tumbleweed by.

Shikamaru is still standing there.

This wascertainly going to be a _long_ day.

The clock read 4:51. Shikamaru watched it closely, still unsure about what Kiba had told him. He waited, watching. 4:59. One minute…thirty seconds… ten…nine… eight…seven…six…five…four…three…two…one…

_Knock-knock-knock_

Shikamaru stood and opened the door, allowing Naruto to drag a pissed looking Sasuke in. Shino came from around the corner and entered the house, followed by a smirking Orochimaru, and frowning Gaara.

"What the hell…" He muttered dully, next thing he knew someone like Sasuke's brother would be coming.

Speak of the devil.

Itachi waltzed into the house, followed by his partner-in-crime, Kisame.

Shikamaru twitched rather violently, and was patted on the shoulder by Kakashi, as Lee, Neji, Kiba and Akamaru entered the house along with the others.

"That's everyone" Kakashi smiled under his mask, and Shikamaru numbly closed the door, walking into the living room where everyone had gathered.

Sasuke sat in a recliner, glaring daggers at his brother who sat on the couch with Kisame and Orochimaru. Shino sat in the corner on the floor, Lee and Naruto not that far away, staring stupidly out the window at the moment, Kiba and Akamaru stood beside the recliner that Sasuke stat in and Neji on the other side. Gaara was leaning on the wall, beside the window that Naruto and Lee found so amazing, just glaring at everyone around him, while Kakashi walked past the dumbfounded Shikamaru to stand beside the couch, close to the end away from Orochimaru.

Shikamaru frowned, noting that everyone brought a bag of clothes and sleeping-bag.

No. They weren't planning to stay over…were they?

Kiba's voice brought Shikamaru out of his stupor.

"LET'S START THIS PARTY!"

Instantly, from out of no where, the song 'Let's get it started' by the Black Eyed Peas started playing.

_How is that possible?_ Shikamaru pondered, _I swear we don't have a stereo of any kind…_

He watched Shino remove the jacket he was wearing and discard it in the corner, closely followed by Itachi and Kisame's Akatsuki cloaks, and Kiba's jacket.

Shikamaru nearly fainted at what he saw next, and his eyes bulged out of his skull, Somehow, the purple rope that was wrapped around Orochimaru's waist and tied into and upside down bow had turned into a big, fluffed up, pink bow. At the moment, somehow, he was tying a matching pink bow into Sasuke's hair.

Sasuke blinked, and then shrugged.

Itachi jumped past the stunned Shikamaru into the kitchen, his hair out, and blowing behind him.

"Freaky…" Shikamaru muttered, slowly making his way to the front door. Unfortunately, That is when Neji decided to grab his arm, and pull him to sit down, where Neji then took to pulling his hair out of it's usually pony tail, humming lightly.

"Neji…what are _you_ doing!" Shikamaru questioned, completely freaked out now.

"I am no long Neji! For now I am…" Neji posed "Mister Hair!"

Shikamaru face-faulted and Neji continued playing around with the others hair.

Kiba grinned. He currently had Gaara sitting at an angle, and he was plastering a cream onto the others face. When finished doing that, he placed cucumbers (1) over his eyes, "There! Your facial is almost done! All you have to do is wait now!" Kiba then wondered off, leaving the sand ninja to rest a little bit.

"Hey Sasuke!" Kakashi called, squatting next to the Uchiha, who held a small bottle of something pink and glittery in his right hand. The strange part, he was putting the stuff on his face and arms. Kakashi held back a chuckle.

"Why are _you_ putting on _glitter_?" He questioned, a grin forming under his mask

Sasuke glared at his Sensei, and then put the little bottle down. Without much effort he formed a few hand seals, and then blew fire at Kakashi, who dodged it.

Lee and Naruto, who were watching, let out a few cheers, whether for Sasuke or Kakashi, will never be known.

Kakashi stood over his pupil. "Now, now Sasuke, you know you can hit me with such an old trick"

Sasuke smirked, Naruto and Lee laughed, and everyone else seemed oblivious.

Kakashi's eyes widened.

"GAH! My hair!" Kakashi had just realized that Sasuke's attack had not missed; in fact, the fire was still in his hair. Burning it. The Jounin took to running around in circles trying to get his hair to blow out, as Sasuke went back to putting Glitter on himself.

Everything else seemed to be going on just as weird.

"Nejjjjjiiii," Orochimaru had stepped up to Neji, who was still playing with Shikamaru's hair, "Can you do something with my hair? I'm just so, totally, fed UP with this look!"

Neji shrugged, turned to Shikamaru and spoke "Don't move"

He then turned and started putting Orochimaru's hair up.

Shino then took that opportunity to walk up and grab a bottle of hair spray. He started spraying it in his hair, and Neji stopped completely, watching with wide eyes, horror filled.

"Shino…" he started, causing the bug master to turn to him, and then realized something was wrong. _Very_ wrong. "That…that wasn't hair spray…"

Shino gulped, and looked at the can in his hands and read the label.

_D-15_

_Insect Repellent_

_Guaranteed to kill any and all bugs!_

…

Shino gulped, and then ran outside, Shikamaru, Neji, and Orochimaru watching.

"How Troublesome" Shikamaru sighed.

Kakashi ran by, his hair on fire

"How troublesome indeed."

Itachi now sat at a table in the middle of the room with Kisame. One hand placed in a bowl of soapy water, and other being held by his companion, who was filing the nails of his nail polish free fingers.

"This is new too me," Itachi stated with a nod, "relaxing though" he added with a mutter, as Kisame continued the manicure, moving onto the massage.

"Kisame is nearly done the manicure" Kisame stated, "Then I will do pedicure,"

Itachi nodded an all knowing nod, "Yes Kisame. Then I will do this for you"

Kisame nodded with Itachi, and Kakashi ran by again, still trying to put his hair out.

Akamaru then came cruising by, and hid under the chair Shikamaru was sitting in.

Noticing this, Shikamaru rose one eyebrow "Akamaru, what are you doing?"

Ok, he knew asking the _dog_ was really quite pointless, but still! It made some form of sense.

Akamaru whined from under the chair and popped his head out, which was missing a clump of fur, and his skin was shown.

"What is Kiba doing to you?" Neji muttered, now pulling a brush through Shikamaru's hair-apparently finished with Orochimaru, although the snake sannin didn't notice- as he too noticed the missing fur.

"Akamaru!" Kiba ran over, and caused the dog to duck under the chair again. "I'm Sorry!"

"What are _you_ doing to your dog?" Shikamaru questioned, looking at Kiba strangely. That's when he noticed _it_.

"What the hell?" Shikamaru was staring wide eyed, open mouthed at Kiba's _legs _"Why is there _wax_ on your legs!"

Kiba muttered a reply, but it was unheard

"What was that?"

Kiba looked away, and answered louder, "I was waxing my legs."

Shikamaru fell over, and was accompanied to the floor by Neji, although the Hyuuga genius was currently a victim of insanity, he was still able to recognize the fact the Kiba was _NOT_ supposed to _wax his legs_.

Kiba was continuing with his explanation, completely unaware of the fact that the two were getting aquatinted with the carpet of Shikamaru's living room.

"You see, I accidentally got some hot wax on _Akamaru's head_, so I thought that the best way to remove it was with one of those strips of fabrics that were meant for waxing, and---"

"You _waxed_ Akamaru!" Neji gasped, then grabbed the dog, holding him close as to keep Kiba away from his own pet

Shikamaru sighed, "How troublesome…"

"Not on purpose!" Kiba huffed, "I was trying to get the wax off! I didn't mean for Akamaru to los his hair!"

Orochimaru blinked, now noticing that Neji was on the floor, holding an almost _bald_ Akamaru to his chest, and that Kiba was fighting over waxing his legs. He shrugged, then got up and walked away to look in a mirror.

Shikamaru hit his head.

_Why Me?_

Meanwhile, outside Shino was bent over a small cross that seemed to be made out of broken tree branches, and a string from a frayed hem. His hands were placed together in a prayer, as he held a mini funeral for his small, lifeless bugs, which were buried under the cross he had whipped together.

"S-Shino?" a timid _female_ voice questioned from behind, and Shino turned around, his eyes watery, full of tears that wanted to fall down his cheeks. He looked surprised as he gazed at the shy Hinata, who stood with Ino, Sakura, Tenten, and a blonde he had never seen before, he could _swear_ he had seen her before though.

"What the hell are _you_ doing?" the unknown blonde filled in for the Hyuuga heir, who's index fingers pressed together in a shy manner

"My- my Bugs are dead!" He cried, finally letting this sink in, "And it's all Neji's fault!"

Hinata made a small noise, and blinked-what had her cousin done?

"Eh?"

"He…He didn't tell me that the hair spray was bug spray until it was too late!"

Sakura bit her bottom lip, and questioned, "Why did you want _hair spray_?"

"So I could put it in my hair!"

All the girls back away, and the blonde spoke again, "Eh, where is, uh, everyone anyway…?"

"Shikamaru's house." Shino sighed, and looked up to ask who the blonde was, but looked up to find no one there.

_They had already left the crazed bug master to find out what was happening…_

Ino raised one hand to knock on Shikamaru's door, when the sound of the music reached her ears. Apparently, someone opened a window.

"What is going on?" Tenten asked, "I think their being tortured or something with what Shino was like!"

The blonde shrugged, "Perhaps we just enter…no knocking"

"Jordon!" Sakura hissed, "That's rude!"

Jordon shrugged again, "from the information I've gathered, it seems that almost _all _the guys are there. One of them is your _precious_ Sasuke."

Sakura blushed at the comment, and Ino reached for the doorknob, and slowly opened the door…

"What. The. Hell." Jordon had spoken again, and all the girls stared in complete shock at what was happening in from of them.

Everything stopped, and all eyes were on the five girls that stood there.

The girls blinked.

Silence

The guys blinked.

Tenten cleared her throat.

Neji continued to brush Shikamaru's hair; Kakashi continued running around trying to put his hair out; Sasuke continued lathering glitter on him; Itachi continued the manicure he was giving Kisame; Orochimaru looked back at the mirror to admire his hair; which was up in two long pony tails at the sides of his head, although a few strands of it still fell into his face; Kiba continued waxing his legs.

Ino suddenly gasped, "Oh My Gosh Neji! What are you doing!" a relived look passed Shikamaru's face, hoping that this torture was over "His hair should go this way, not _that_ way! Who taught you to brush anyway! SHEESH!" She waltzed over and grabbed the brush, and showed 'Mister Hair' what she meant, and Shikamaru sighed in disappointment.

Hinata stared at her cousin with curiosity, and then looked to where Naruto _still _stood with Lee, watching the party.

"N-Naruto-kun?" she whispered, and Naruto looked over to the girl

"Hinata!" he grinned

"W-What's going on?"

"I don't really know" Naruto shrugged "But It's entertaining…"

"O-Oh"

Jordon's eye twitched "Someone check my sanity…or theirs…probably needed anyway…" she muttered, falling against the wall. She then noticed the strange look on Sakura's face, and looked to where she was looking, and watched Sasuke with _his_ glitter. Sighing, the unknown pushed the pink haired girl towards Sasuke.

"Ah…Sasuke-Kun?"

Sasuke looked up at Sakura and blinked, in an innocent way. _Too innocent. Too Creepy._

"Sakura." He stated, then motioned with one hand for her to come closer, so she took a step closer, and stood about two feet away from her crush. Sasuke reached up, and grasped her hand, pulling her down to sit.

Sakura bit her bottom lip again, "Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke reached up and smeared the pink glitter on her cheek.

Tenten walked over to Neji and grasped his shoulders with a smirk on her face

"Come one Neji…I don't think it's very fair that you do everyone else's hair and you don't get _yours_ done…"

Shikamaru stood up and inched away, as Tenten and Ino started working.

"What a pain…"

"I hope this doesn't last" Shikamaru looked to the one who spoke and blinked at Jordon, "Agree? Ah, nice hair by the way"

She spoke of the fact that his hair had been pulled into two ponytails at the back of his head and poked out, also part of his hair had been left down to fall into his face, kind of like the way that Ino keeps hers.

"Thanks" he muttered sarcastically, and the girl grinned

"Welcome…" She laughed "Ah…now to bug someone…" her sentence trailed off "heh" She smirked, and more-or-less skipped off, to jump and stand beside Itachi, Shikamaru watched as she stated something like 'What in hells name are you doing?' before plopping herself to sit next to the S-class criminal.

Shikamaru walked over and sat on the couch, putting his hands in his face, he looked at the clock. _10:00_. He placed his face in his hands again, and sighed.

The sunlight caused him to awaken, and open his onyx eyes, the young Uchiha groaned. He moved to sit up, but found himself unable to move his left arm. Wrapping said arm around what was holding him down he sat up, and looked at what he held. His mouth dropped in shock.

_Sakura?_

The memory of the night before came flooding back, and he looked around.

Shikamaru was asleep on the couch, his hair pulled up strangely for him. Ino slept at his feet, leaning against the back of the seat so she didn't fall forward. Neji and Tenten slept back to back beside the couch, their shoulders leaning on the side of the said object. Kakashi slept on the coffee table, most of his hair missing. Orochimaru was nowhere in sight, and Sasuke remember vaguely waving goodbye to him around midnight (perhaps a little to much…the waving at least) Naruto and Lee slept soundly against the wall; Hinata was sleeping with her head in Naruto's lap. Itachi was asleep at the table he had been by, his head in his arms. The same for Kisame. Jordon slept curled by Itachi, somehow stolen the Akatsuki cloaks and was currently using them as a pillow and blanket. Gaara sat on the recliner, his arms crossed, and head bent, as if sensing Sasuke's look, his eyes met those of Onyx color.

"That was stupid."

Sasuke nodded, agreeing, and he felt the pink haired girl who he was _still_ holding stir.

He looked down at her, and watched as he green eyes opened slowly

"Sasuke-kun?" she questioned, blinking, slowly taking in her surroundings. She then noticed that Sasuke was holding her, and sat strait up, fully awake.

"Good morning?" she smiled weakly- and Sasuke noticed that she was still covered in pink glitter, meaning he was too.

"Remind me to never **_ever_** spend time with the others. **Ever** **again**."

* * *

(1)Cucumbers don't do a thing. Take this from someone who has been taught how to do an actual facial in a cosmetology class; we were told that it is only there for looks...

* * *

Well, That's that. My first Naruto fanfic, well kinda. I have a few I'm still working on, but won't be done for a while, lol. Also, this is my first attempt at a humor fic.

I drew a picture! It has Sasuke, Shikamaru, Neji, Itachi, Kisame, and Orochimaru in it! I've got a link up in my profile!

I really wanted this to be finished for my birthday, so I could post it…but it didn't get done, oh well, lol. Just two days late right? (My birthday it July 4th, so technically when I get this posted it will be five days late)

Well, R&R please! Constructive criticism accepted!

Also, Thanks again for Tas! I hope you enjoyed this! I'm glad I got it finished!


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